Adding insulation to the outside of a wall

Q: I watched a presentation of yours a few weeks ago, the one sponsored by Sherborn and Holliston. Impressive and informative…many thanks.
As a result of the presentation I’m interested in adding 2” insulation board, as well as Aerogel, when I re-side the house. My wife does not like foam off-gassing, so we will leave our fiberglass batting alone and add the insulation board outside of it.
There are LOTS of insulation panel types to choose from. Any recommendations on which are best?
In your presentation you mentioned the aesthetic problem with adding 2” or 4” insulation boards, i.e. that they strand the window a few inches inside the siding. I wonder if this problem could be overcome by cutting the insulation board surrounding the windows into picture frame dimensions by making – a 3-d mitre cuts of the insulation at the window corners. One would end up with thin insulation board at the edge of the windows, but gain a lot of insulation everywhere else.
Any thoughts much appreciated.

A: You can certainly do this kind of mitre cut to lessen the impact of installing the insulation. If you are adding only 2” it might still look good. I think it is best to discuss this with the window installer. 
The Aerogel product has the best R value per inch at R10, so 1” has the same insulation as a 2” ISO board, but it’s only an inch deep. It is more expensive psf that ISO board. I do not know what it’s flammability rating is though. 
A more fire-proof alternative to adding the foam is to pull out the fiberglass and replace it with rockwool batts (Roxul comfortbatt is the most widely available). It is about R4 per inch vs R3 for fiberglass. Rock wool cannot burn (it is literally strands of melted rock) so it is better fireproofing. You can add a 1.5” rockwool board (R6) instead of the ISO board outside the studs too. If you are going to go to all this trouble it is probably worth adding an airtight/waterproof membrane on the outside too. Siga makes these type of specialized membranes. They have to be properly installed (with the seams sealed) to create the air-tight barrier. After this, your house will be far better insulated and far less drafty. 
I am glad your wife is concerned about off gassing, but I think their is an even bigger concern: fire resistance. Sometimes I feel like a lonely voice on the flammability of foam products. I intend to use rockwool when we add insulation on our rental property for precisely this reason. It is not just the flammability that bothers me, it is the thick black smoke created when foam insulation burns.I will also be adding the Siga membrane for air tightness too.